No one was going to take myself away from me.

I thought about how we sweep dust under the mats and assume it didn;t even exist. How as we tilled the land,we buried the weeds with the hoes and our feet,imagining that they were dead forever. How we wronged our friends in elementary school, looked at each other the next minute, high-five and smile. It was over, we would forget. How mum beat me up with the hose-pipe at night and in the morning I kissed her, the first thing to do at sunrise. How the teacher at school would call you names in class for your misdemeanor and yet hover you with praises on parents day. The same way all these things were forgotten was how i wanted to sweep this thoughts under, forget they existed. Forget that they spoke the truth and live a lie. Forget that I knew and put on a cloak of ignorance, walk in it and live in it. Slicing through my heart, they were ice-cold, wrenching my heart out, making me forget who I was, who I wanted to be, .......................
My parents were looking over, pleading,"Please come with us. Give us a piece of yourself". Across the river my friends sat, their eyes solemn, their gazes unwavering. The magnetic pull in their eyes promising scorn, hate even if i did not cross over to them. And all around me, were eyes of strangers, ghostly eyes, with eerie shadows, with tinges of greed. Saliva flowing like a river. All here were baying for my blood. I felt trapped, like a sacrificial lamb whose fate is uncertain. I felt caged,like a parrot bird who sings in pain. I felt nude, uncovered, with the eyes of the world trained on me.
Far of in the distance I could here, a sound all too familiar, a song all too usual, i could here it. It was the voice of my dreams, the life that I yearned for. I broke down and wept, with the wall of people around me, with the death river right in front of me. I held my hands to my head, and covered my ears, and closed my eyes, and held my breath. I sank into an oblivion, but still I could hear,I could see the arms outstretched towards me. A thousand voices,"I will save you..", "I will give you my wings...........", "I will carry you over the river..." Empty promises that sounded so full. Lies that had the taste of truth. A death song that had the aura of a love song. In front of me was a well,dark and deep, starting at never and ending at forever. This is what I chose. Closing my eyes tight and garnering my loins right, and without a light, I chose to start the fight.No one was going to take myself away from me.